Big Change

Sometimes the clerk doesn't tell me my total.

"How much is it?"

The clerk points to the display on the register. I can't read it. In my wallet are a bunch of smaller bills that would probably cover it, but I hand over the bigger bills and let them make change.

I could say, "Can you read me the total? I can't see so well."

But I never do.

I'm Certainly Not Stoned

Under bright lights, I have to squint. Especially fluorescents. Like these at Target:

Clerk to me: "You seem tired. "

Me to clerk: "It's the lights."

Clerk to my friend: "I hope he's not driving because I don't believe him that he's just tired."

My friend to clerk: "No, it's the lights."

Not the first time that this has happened. And probably not the last.