Awkward Encounters in Academia

School is a hotbed for low vision mishaps. For me, ages 4-18 were full of socio-academic failure that dissuaded me from entering college altogether. Now that I'm suddenly in grad school with an adult grasp of navigating all sorts of social red tape, these mishaps take on a more situation-comedic (or even slapstick) quality. Here are few examples from a weeklong residency at Goddard College:

1. Arriving on Friday, I got greeted with a warm hug. Thought she was a fellow student that I sort of knew, then realized she's someone I helped hire and work with all the time.
2. Saturday in the cafeteria, a hand directed me toward a pair of professors. I walked over, said hello, then realized they were student friends. It took me 10 seconds to identify one of them, another 20 for the other. I know both people really well.
3. Graduating students left Sunday, but on Monday I kept seeing some of them sitting at dinner, even though I knew they weren't there.
4. There are these three students I visually confuse with each other. I hang out with each, but they are never with each other, so whenever I talk to one it takes me a while to figure out who she is.
5. Tuesday night I sought out a student and saw her walking down the path with a friend. Running up to her, she looked at me, wondering why I'd run up to her. It took several seconds to determine she wasn't the student I sought, but my advisor from last semester.
6. In group on Wednesday everyone sat in a circle of chairs except for one student across the room who knelt on the floor writing on a flip chart. When that student walked in through a different door, I figured out what I saw to be her was actually a hoodie hanging from a doorknob. Throughout the meeting I kept seeing a person over there, knowing full well it was just a hoodie.
7. At the Art Crawl I looked at many pieces that I couldn't really see.
8. I called out to and caught up with a professor I wanted to talk to. As I began conversation, I gradually realized that she wasn't the professor that I thought I'd called out to. I covered this up by awkwardly changing the subject to be relevant to her work.
9. Thursday night I emceed a 2-hour cabaret not knowing how many people were in the audience because I saw no one. This always happens. Everywhere.
10. My eyes are tired from spending time on this computer. Good night!