Big Blurry Circles

Tonight I facilitated a workshop with a friend. There were 40 people there, and when we stood in the circle, it filled an entire 30×50-foot room.

Early in the evening, I sat at the front desk to help with sign-in, but I couldn't really see people's names on the sign-in sheet, even though I'd printed it out.

In our first activity, I had everyone go around and say their name and make a movement that we'd all repeat. I almost always start groups of people who don't know each other with this activity, because the movement helps us remember names, tells us something about that person and how they're feeling, and gets us all to move. I also can't really see the people across the circle, and tend to rely more on the sound of their voice to know who they are, and can really only repeat big, obvious movements with accuracy.

Next, my co-facilitator was reading some things off a sheet of paper that the group sat and faced. People raised their hands to speak and somehow I ended up being the one calling on them. But I could barely see the people and their hands Then we passed around these index cards for everyone to read. "Does everyone have a card?" I asked after about 30 seconds, and my co-facilitator leaned over and said, "They're still going around." It took along time for 40 people to distribute index cards. "How about now?" Nope.

Throughout the evening I really felt on the margins being seeing and not-seeing, passing and not passing, and I wonder how people who don't know me perceived me. I also wondered how people who do know me perceived me: as a person capable of doing this work without much effort, or as a person who really could use some help sometimes.